I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
