yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
