if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
