i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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