note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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