This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
