No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
