So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
