so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
