I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
