oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
