I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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