Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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