FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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