I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
