she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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