She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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