Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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