how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
did you just send me my own nude
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
