To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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