I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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