I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
