i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
