she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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