My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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