who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
