last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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