how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
