I wish I could punch you in the face.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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