You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
