I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my being single is dangerous.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
