I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
