Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
