ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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