I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
