I hope mine doesn't look like that
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize