I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
