anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I understand Curling. That high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
