Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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