This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
