Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
