well most of my day revolves around power hour
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
