I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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