Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
