He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
