Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
