Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize