would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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