dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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