we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
even my farts smell like vagina
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
