Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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