At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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