Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
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