That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
