I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
