Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
