I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
