I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
