I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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