Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize