i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The air was thick with penises
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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