so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
