well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
