You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Buhtt sex?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
