Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
