sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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