is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
