I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
