when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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