You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
